Some of my friends are aware that I suffer from chronic depression.
I've managed to "manage" it over the last few years with medication and perserverence. However, sometimes --now being one of those "sometimes" -- it rears its ugly head and I find myself doing the mental version of swimming in sand.
I don't know what it is about this particular time of the year but for several years, the last two and, most memorably, in 2000, August has hit me hard. Probably the heat has something to do with it, and perhaps because I am inclined to hole up inside and not get the requisite amount of sunshine a certain amount of Vitamin D deficiency may contribute. I find myself having to deal with a lot more "things" all at once. Whether this is simply a perception, or whether it is the same number of things but I find it harder to cope with them, I am not sure.
This time around, I have a lot of family support and I have managed to will myself to take care of some of the things which have been weighing me down.... cleaning my room for one thing.... I can now SEE my room without seeing it behind a big pile of clothes and books and boxes and junk. How novel! That has done me a world of good. Not just seeing the chaos done away with but it has been a huge physical effort which has made me feel a LOT better.
Mornings seem to be the worst time for me. On one hand, because I have had trouble getting to sleep, one half of my brain is exhausted while the other half is running 1000 miles a second over all the things I have to do or fretting over all the things I haven't done, yet. Meanwhile, my body is raring to get out and walk a marathon. Walking has helped. While I was advised (or rather, "prescribed") to take a 45 minute walk, my back tells me after 20 minutes that that is it.... It really has helped even though I haven't been able to manage the 45 consecutive minutes, yet. At least it is much cooler, now, and a brisk 20 minute walk works wonders, at least for a while.
By mid-afternoon, though, I am usually feeling much better and the rest of the day is terrific(ish).
At least with the encouragement of my family, particularly my Mom, as well as that of a couple of close friends, I am starting to pull myself free this time around.